Why You “Know” Better but Can’t “Do” Better
Have you ever caught yourself saying things like…
“I already know what needs to change, so why can’t I follow through?”
“I know what I want, so why does it feel so difficult to take a step towards it?”
“I tell myself exactly what you’re telling me, so why can’t I actually listen to myself?”
“I KNOW better, so why can’t I DO better?”
If so, you’re not alone. Just about every client I work with says one of these phrases at some point—and usually with the same mix of frustration and self-judgment.
Because the truth is: my clients are brilliant. They’re insightful, capable, and deeply self-aware. They’ve read the books, listened to the podcasts, maybe even worked with other practitioners.
And still, they find themselves stuck in cycles that keep them feeling trapped and powerless.
They don’t need to be told these cycles and behaviors aren’t “serving them”. They’re already well aware.
And I get it. I’ve been there too—knowing better in my head, but not being able to translate that knowing into action. For many who grew up as parentified children, this struggle runs deep.
The good news? There’s a reason this happens and once you understand why, you can start closing the gap and finally live in alignment with what you already know.
The Tug-of-War Between Conscious Awareness and the Unconscious Mind
Let’s start with the basics. You have two key parts of your mind that are constantly shaping your experience:
Your conscious awareness is the part of you that lives in the present moment. It’s logical, deliberate, and intentional. This is the part of you that reads a book, listens to a podcast, or has an “aha” moment and thinks: “Yes, that’s exactly what I need to do.”
Your unconscious mind, on the other hand, is the deeper operating system. It’s where your values, beliefs, emotions, and long-standing patterns are stored. Much of this programming isn’t even yours to begin with—you’ve inherited it from family, absorbed it from society, or carried it over from past lives.
And here’s the kicker: your unconscious mind influences over 90% of your daily decisions, often without you realizing it. It runs on autopilot, following a set of 21 operating principles that quietly govern how you think, feel, and act.
So what happens when your conscious awareness and your unconscious programming don’t agree?
When You “Know” Better but Can’t “Do” Better
Let’s say you’re learning about boundaries and you consciously realize, “I need to set one with my mom.”
Logically, it makes perfect sense. You think about it, maybe even practice what you’d say, and feel determined to follow through.
But then… the moment comes and instead of calmly holding your boundary, you freeze.
Or you feel guilt or shame rise up in your chest so strongly that you can’t bring yourself to do it at all.
You end up leaving the conversation without saying what you needed to say.
And then you’re frustrated with yourself, wondering why you keep repeating the same patterns when you know better.
This is the unconscious mind at work. Your conscious awareness has the new information, but if your unconscious programming is running beliefs like “I’m responsible for other people’s feelings” or “If I disappoint her, I won’t be loved,” then no matter how logical your intention, the unconscious will override it.
That’s why you feel the gap between what you know and what you do. Because there is a gap.
And guess what? The more you build your conscious awareness through books, podcasts, and self-development courses without also addressing the unconscious programming underneath, the wider that gap becomes.
So, what do you do?
Closing the Gap
The key is to stop trying to out-think or out-willpower your unconscious. You can’t bully it into submission with more logic, affirmations, or pep talks. You have to communicate with it in its own language.
Your unconscious mind is primitive and symbolic. It responds to imagery, metaphor, and felt experience. That’s why guided hypnosis-based visualization is so effective, it speaks directly to the part of you that holds the patterns, so you can reprogram them at the root.
This is the work we do in The Reclaimed Mind.
The Reclaimed Mind: A Proven Path to Lasting Change
In The Reclaimed Mind, I guide you through a step-by-step process that helps bring your unconscious mind into alignment with your conscious awareness, so you can finally bridge the gap between “knowing better” and “doing better.”
Here’s how it works:
We begin with The Clarity Compass, an in-depth intake that maps out your unique unconscious programming so we know exactly where to start.
Then, we bring in The Karmic Astrology Reading to uncover your soul’s purpose and the deeper karmic lessons influencing your patterns.
From there, we use a powerful blend of Hypnotherapy, Neuro-Linguistic Programming (NLP), Reiki, and intuitive guidance to reprogram the root patterns and release the five core repressed emotions—anger, fear, sadness, guilt, and hurt—that keep you looping in the same struggles.
Instead of just adding more conscious “knowing,” we bring both your conscious awareness and unconscious mind into alignment, so your intentions, choices, and actions finally flow together.
This is where transformation stops being temporary and starts becoming your new reality.
Your Next Step
If you’ve been stuck in the cycle of “knowing but not doing,” it’s not because you’re broken.
It’s because your unconscious mind is waiting for you to give it new instructions in the language it understands.
If you’re ready to stop fighting with yourself and start experiencing real, lasting change, I invite you to book a Discovery Call. This is your first step toward reclaiming your mind, breaking free from programmed wants, and living in alignment with your authentic desires.